The Boomerang Effect

A friend was telling me about how her grown granddaughter has come to live with her and how the granddaughter isn't happy and she is making my friends home an unhappy place to live.
My friend is putting a positive spin on it and working on being positive about it and doing things HOPING it will make her granddaughter happy, even purchasing a ticket to another country so her grandaughter could visit a boyfriend. This temporarily relieved my friend of this negative influence on her home.
Well, the granddaughter came back to live with my friend and she is back to square one. I will say this is not the first time my friend has done something wonderful for her granddaughter only to have it come back around, leaving her in the same place as before. I call this the boomerang effect. Let me repeat, You CANNOT Control outside circumstances the more you try, the more it will come back to bite you.
You are only responsible for YOURSELF, so you have to change the way YOU look at the situation and ask yourself how do I feel about the situation and if you are feeling NOT GOOD about a situation, change what YOU think and how YOU feel about the situation.
It is NOT your responsibility to make someone happy, nor is it anyone elses responsibility to make you happy.
In this situation I understand my friends view, she doesn't want to hurt feelings but my friend is not happy either. Take the steps to make YOU happy, I told my friend, it is ok to ask her granddaughter to leave, yes the granddaughter will probably get angry, yes, the granddaughter will be nice and accommodating for a short period of time to attempt to change her grandmothers mind. AND what my friend should do is hold steadfast to what she KNOWS to be her truth, which is she wants her beautiful, zenful, sanctuary of a home back, she needs to visualize the place as she knows it to be, she needs to say this IS MY sanctuary. I am HAPPY in my space. She needs to feel good about her home in any situation.
When you think and do the way you have always thought and done, you will always get what you always gotten, how do we change what we get?
Change YOUR perspective on a situation.
THINK POSITIVELY about the situation AND visualize what you want.
Get yourself into a GOOD FEELING place about the situation.
You are ONLY responsible for YOU.
Stay tuned for a process that can help...
more soon
anna